I love how consistent our God is. He’s the beginning, middle, and end…..and knows all- yet nothing is new to Him and he consistently loves on me. I don’t know why, but He does. I’ve been down for some time, the sickest I have been in a very long time, and it feels rather familiar. I vaguely remember praying, and asking for rest a few weeks back- and here I am, being forced to rest and complaining about every second of it! That got me to thinking about time I was very sick (yet didn’t know it) and begged God for rest. I was sick emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It was like sitting in a bouncy house trying to rest when it’s full of toddlers. I was not glorifying God; I was, in fact, doing the opposite. I was not living the way Christ would approve of, and I was on a downward spiral that would have very quickly led to some serious problems. I remember being tired, lonely, lost, empty, and in a quiet whisper I begged God to provide me with rest…doctor ordered rest that I could then use to take the pain away…the emotional and physical. My life was spinning, and the only one powerful enough to stop it was God. Kind of like watching a toddler with a chocolate ice cream run around over white carpet- you know a mess is happening, but you can’t stop it.
Shortly after I whispered a prayer I was sure wouldn’t be heard- it happened. I got diagnosed with Graves disease, went through a ton of medical tests, radiation on my thyroid, and I was ordered to rest. I slept for three months. I could not walk….I didn’t eat. I slept. And for the first time- I was pain-free. As I stayed in bed, I did a lot of talking to a God I didn’t know very well. I let go and handed it all over to Him. Throughout this process, my friends stopped coming around (which was, I am sure, intentional by God) and somehow while out to the doc I ran into a handsome old love (had I ONLY known then what the heck God was trying to say lol). As I got stronger, I didn’t bother calling my old friends…I moved out of moms house and into my place and applied to Northwest Christian University. I got a do-over….and desperately wanted to know this God better, this God that heard me. Through that process, real love came my way, and I haven’t stopped getting closer to Christ since (a journey that never ends).
That little whisper…that little plea for help that I doubted would be heard- set the course for a life saved by our Jesus.
So this time around, seeing as how I have Influenza A and haven’t been this sick in years….I wonder what God has in store for me? I wonder what I will learn; I wonder the area of my heart God is focusing on? I trust, from past experiences, these are the times where God digs in if we let him…I can’t wait to come out of this new. What a sweet, and precious gift we have- to be made new!